The COVID-19 Pandemic has brought upon the world an existential crisis that we’re all experiencing in some form or another.
We all feel some shift to the unknown within ourselves emotionally and/or in our bodies.
How you respond to the threat of COVID-19 depends to a great extent on your inner capacity for self-nurturing/compassion, emotional safety/security, and the wisdom of knowing that you have the resilience to be OK.
In your response to the existential threat of COVID-19 you may be disoriented, confused or anxious about the world as it is, what it will become, and what it holds for your future
The paradigm of reality as you knew it has changed, yet you don’t know “to what?”
You may have difficulty comprehending what is happening, feel anxious and out of control, or emotionally numb.
As a result of the social isolation and stress, you may find yourself arguing with loved ones or blaming and indirectly pushing away those you care about.
Although these reactions are common and understandable, the problem is that you can end up feeling isolated, abandoned, or rejected.
Research Indicates That Childhood Experiences Impact How We React to Stress in Later Life
Science shows us that, as children, the emotional environment in which we grew up profoundly influences our responses to challenges in our adult lives.
As a child, if you had inadequate nurturing, love, validation, and security, you may have feelings of insecurity, self-loathing, unworthiness, shame, or intense fears.
These feelings, although normal responses, may compromise your capacity to cope with, and overcome the existential threat of COVID-19.
This is why individuals who have suffered adverse childhood experiences are more vulnerable to developing PTSD when they experience traumatic events as adults.
It is this underlying vulnerability which, when triggered, may manifest as intense sensory, emotional, intellectual, and/or visual flashbacks of adverse childhood experiences.
These experiences often feel as though they are the result of the COVID-19 crisis, but they are likely due to the triggering of earlier childhood trauma.
None-the-less, the distress you may feel is real.
How Self-Nurturing Strategies Can Bring a Sense of Calm
Fortunately, resilience, self-nurturing, distress reduction, and inner peace can be learned through the practice of evidence-based coping strategies.
For example, you can imagine your younger self feeling alone, helpless, and frightened as your adult self provides nurturing, protection, and care.
You can imagine holding your young, frightened self lovingly and with kindness.
As you picture yourself holding your younger self, cross your arms over your chest and hug yourself.
Gently rub the outside of your arms and feel the nurturing you are providing to the “younger you”.
Other helpful strategies, including symptom reduction, containment, and progressive relaxation, are freely available for download on my website. If you haven’t already downloaded them, you can do that here.
These coping strategies can be helpful when you experience sleep difficulties or feel overwhelmed by disturbing thoughts.
Once signed up for my audios, listen to the audio, “Deactivating Your Stress Response”, and then practice “The Container” audio meditation.
Practicing these exercises will help reduce your distress, and allow you to fall asleep more easily, or get on with your day with less anxiety. The “Progressive Relaxation” audio is an effective strategy that will enable you to feel calm and at peace.
Social Connection Reduces Feelings of Isolation
We are social beings, seeking and in need of social interaction. If you are socially isolated and have a history of neglect and/or rejection, any feelings you have of rejection, low self-worth, depression and anger will likely be intensified.
Social interaction allows you to connect, share yourself, and listen to others. By reaching out, giving and receiving, you’re nurturing others, and yourself.
You’ll feel good about being there for family and friends, and at the same time, you’ll be more likely to receive their compassion and caring.
Unlike in 1918, during the two-year Spanish Flu, with COVID-19, we now have the technology that allows us to enjoy social engagement without the inherent risk of meeting in person.
Using Web-based platforms such as Zoom or Skype, we can stay connected with those we care for and who care about us.
“We all have resources within ourselves, such as memories of comfort and safety, experiences of being powerful and courageous, or images that evoke feelings of peace and calm. These memories, qualities, and images are stored in our body-mind neuro-network and can be accessed, activated, and strengthened with bilateral stimulation by physically tapping on the body.” (Parnell, Laurel, 2008).
Tapping into Your Inner Resources: Calm Place Exercise
Below is a strategy to help you feel calm, peaceful and nurtured.
[You may want to record and listen to it on your device].Sit or lie in a comfortable place. Ensure there are no distractions (e.g., phone).
Close your eyes and bring your attention to a quiet place inside yourself by taking long, deep breaths and slowly exhaling.
Observe your breath as it naturally enters and leaves your body.
Once you feel relaxed, imagine a place where you feel nurtured and comfortable – a place where you can feel relaxed.
Bring to mind a calm, peaceful place such as a positive memory, an experience, image from a book or movie, or simply from your imagination.
You can choose to reinforce a feeling of safety by erecting a protective barrier or adding protectors to guard your nurturing/peaceful place.
After finding your peaceful place, enhance it using your senses:
What are you seeing?
What are you hearing?
What are you smelling?
What emotions are you experiencing?
What sensations are you feeling in your body?
Imagine this relaxing place as fully as you can.
When you have a strong sense of feeling it emotionally and in your body, start tapping your right side to your left side on your thighs or knees. Or, cross your arms over your chest and tap on each shoulder (butterfly hug).
Tap on alternate sides 6 to12 times at a pace and intensity that you’re comfortable with.
Take a brief rest and enjoy the positive feelings.
You may then repeat the imagery and tapping as many times as you wish and whenever you wish.
If, at any time during the exercise, you feel distressed or experience the intrusion of a negative image, stop tapping immediately and explore what you are experiencing.
You may need to develop a different nurturing/peaceful place or try again at a different time.
When you’re feeling distressed, I hope practicing some of the exercises above will help ease your stress.
If you require further help, please contact me to inquire about my trauma-based counselling services.